The List

Just when I think I’m done with men…someone else comes along. It’s usually not the guy I would expect to meet. Sometimes he’s too short or has too many kids, sometimes he doesn’t live here or is just too close. And sometimes, it seems like he’s too young. What is it that makes us have “the list”? How is that really ideal? How can you fit someone into a list of ideals? They are definitely made to be broken. I always said I would never date a man with kids – two of my exes has children. I always said I would never date a man long distance – I’ve done that twice now. I always said I wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t on my level (education, career-wise, etc); did that too. So what’s the point of the list? Is it just the result of all the past failures that we’ve encountered and we are trying to avoid them? Is that the way that we try to guard ourselves from being hurt again? Or is it truly our guide to the person who will be “the one”? Don’t we just limit ourselves with “the list”? Or is that there are just many different people with so many different issues that it’s just our way of wading through all the fish in the sea?

It's me, not you...

I'm listening to "Pretty Wings" by Maxwell (which I love, love, love and I have it on repeat as I write) and I was wondering when do you decide to let go?

I've been in relationships where the guy wasn't ready for me and all that I had to offer. Of course, initially, I thought it was me, but then I realized that it was really them and their inability to be the person I NEEDED them to be for me.

The last relationship I was in, he realized that he couldn't do long distance...but I'm so sure you had to know that BEFORE you got involved...and then you decide to let go AFTER feelings got deep? What's that about?!

So when do you realize you have to give "It's me, not you, you did nothing wrong" speech?